Associated Press

Business travel in an age of tight budgets and terrorism can be nerve-wracking for anyone, but the conflicts loom especially large for working parents.

A U.S. sales executive who is also a husband and father of two writes in today’s “Work & Family Mailbox” that he’s fearful about his employer’s plan to hold its annual sales meeting in Malaysia, rather than its customary U.S. or European locations. Although the executive’s wife is urging him to go to avert career damage, he dreads the long flights and, as a Jewish American in the wake of the Mumbai attacks, can’t shake his fears about terrorism.

“In a worst-case scenario, I could be leaving behind a wife and two college-age kids simply to attend a sales meeting,” says this angry father, who isn’t sleeping well because of anxiety about the trip.

Few people feel secure enough in their jobs right now to turn down business trips. In the column, Doug Matthews, president of Right Management, Philadelphia, offers the same advice as the sales executive’s wife: Make the trip to avoid damaging your business reputation and your promotion prospects. And travel expert Tim Daniel, executive vice president of International SOS, Philadelphia, advises the executive that risks at his Malaysian destination are actually low.

As irrational as it may seem to resist business travel, such angst is genuine, as we saw in the epidemic of anxiety post-9/11. Although I enjoy travel when I don’t have responsibilities at home, I always sympathize with jugglers who resist it. In a dilemma akin to that of the sales executive, I turned down an international beat assignment when my children were small. That certainly hurt my career prospects at the time.

And corporate cost cuts are making business travelers’ juggle harder. As USA Today reports, employers are pressing business travelers to take cheaper predawn, red-eye or Saturday-night stayover flights, leaving both sleep and home life at the mercy of flight schedules.

Readers, when is it better to take a career hit and turn down business travel for the sake of family? And when is it best just to set aside your worries and get on the plane? Is business travel getting tougher for you?

Associated Press

Mothers know they’re benefiting their babies by breastfeeding – but did you ever consider that you’re enlightening your co-workers too?

We’ve posted many times about the pains and perils of breastfeeding while working, including here and here. Now, there are signs that working mothers are beginning to tip the balance in favor of more breastfeeding support in the workplace.

Employees who know a co-worker who has breastfed or used a breast pump at work are more likely than others to favor workplace policies supporting breastfeeding, says a study published recently in the International Breastfeeding Journal. Among 407 employees surveyed at a large U.S. company, most favored giving women space and time off to pump milk during the workday.

That may be one reason 26% of employers now offer lactation support, such as space to pump milk, up sharply from 18% in 2003, says a 2007 annual survey of 590 employers by the Society for Human Resource Management.

Indeed, the workplace may be the scene of the fastest progress toward expanding breastfeeding, based on the Centers for Disease Control’s annual “Breastfeeding Report Card.” States with legislation regarding women’s right to continue breastfeeding while employed rose to 21 this year from 15 in 2007, the biggest percentage gain among eight important indicators of progress, the CDC says.

This reflects a major change since the 1990s, when I used to sneak down the halls of my office, hiding my breast pump, to express milk in the employee shower. To the many mothers who feel as beleaguered as ever trying to juggle work and nursing, however, the research may seem like empty statistics.

Readers, do you see attitudes toward nursing changing in your workplace?

Associated Press

A few weeks ago, my wife and I attended a parent-teacher conference with our 4-year-old son’s pre-K teacher, and I went back later that day for a conference with our 7-year-old daughter’s second-grade teacher (my wife had to leave for a business trip). All of the reports were glowing, but our kids weren’t there to hear them. That’s traditional. But is it best?

Some schools are turning away from the old model of parent-teacher conferences, finding them excessively negative and uninspiring, according to a recent New York Times article. At Tefft Middle School in Streamwood, Ill., for example, students now are not only allowed to attend teacher conferences, but actually lead them.

The result has been a reversal of the apathy and poor attendance that had marked Tefft’s conferences in the past, the article says: “Recently, 525 parents attended parent-teacher-student conferences, [the principal] said, compared with 75 parents in 2003. No appointments were needed, and everyone was welcome at the conferences this year, spread over two days that school officials called a Celebration of Learning.”

That kind of scheduling is certainly more appealing than my kids’ school’s fierce competition for convenient slots. And while I was initially taken aback at the idea of having children lead parent-teacher conferences, I do see the logic in making the conferences themselves a learning experience, and in making the experience less forbidding for struggling students and their parents.

Readers, do you like the way parent-teacher conferences are handled at your children’s schools, or would you like to see a new structure tried?

Associated Press

Recent headlines have identified a new risk for children: “third-hand smoke.”

The term describes the lingering chemicals left on smokers’ hair and clothes, as well as carpeting, cushions and curtains, long after second-hand smoke has cleared. The nasty chemicals include carcinogens and radioactive particles that young children can ingest, especially if they are crawling around on the floor.

Third-hand smoke was described in a new study, published in the latest issue of the journal “Pediatrics,” that focused on the risks of these chemicals on young children. Many people can smell third-hand smoke, say, in a hotel room or cab after smokers have left. But very few people were aware of the risks of this invisible, yet highly carcinogenic cigarette residue, the study’s authors found.

I live in a city with an indoor smoking ban in restaurants and bars, and few of my friends and relatives smoke, so I haven’t really faced a lot of third-hand smoke with my infant son. I still worry about second-hand smoke: my favorite outdoor café is a haven for smokers, and I’ll switch seats if a smoker is lighting up in the direction of my son.

Readers, how concerned are you with third-hand smoke and making sure your kids’ environment is smoke-free? If you or your family members are smokers, have you taken any precautions to reduce cigarette residue?

Associated Press

Apple CEO Steve Jobs

Earlier today Apple chief executive Steve Jobs announced that he had a hormone imbalance that had caused dramatic weight loss over the past year. His mysteriously gaunt appearance led to speculation that Mr. Jobs, a pancreatic-cancer survivor, was gravely ill.

Mr. Jobs said he was in treatment for the problem and that he would continue as CEO during his recovery, with the full support of his company. He added that he would be the first one to tell the company’s board if he were no longer able to perform his duties.

Mr. Jobs’ announcement hit close to home, as I have faced debilitating and mysterious health problems this year, including severe insomnia. I feel fortunate that my schedule is relatively flexible, I have very understanding colleagues and that I work from home, so I can squeeze in doctors’ appointments and the occasional nap when necessary. But most workers in structured 8 to 5 corporate jobs aren’t so lucky.

We’ve discussed in the past how tough it is to cope with chronic illness on the job. Have you or a co-worker faced a debilitating condition at work and how has that changed the workplace dynamic? Are colleagues and managers sympathetic or suspicious? Given Mr. Jobs’ announcement, do you support his decision to stay at the helm, or is it unfair to coworkers?

Associated Press

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gives the thumbs up as he is taken off the field on Sun., Dec. 28, 2008.

Watching Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger being carried off the field recently with a concussion brought back some bad memories.

The sight of the NFL star’s helmet slamming the turf was exactly the way my son’s helmeted noggin looked cracking the ice a few years ago during a hockey game. The 30 seconds it took him to regain consciousness were the longest in my life.

The issue of concussions in kids’ sports arose anew last fall after a 16-year-old Montclair, N.J., high-school junior died of a brain hemorrhage after making a tackle in a football game. Evidence of brain damage in former NFL players is mounting. Other sports, too, pose risks; one study found more than one-third of soccer players on the Norwegian national team had abnormal brain scans, perhaps partly from heading the ball.

Yet fewer than 50% of athletes understand the problems that can arise from concussions, says an article this month in the journal “Pediatrics.” In a study of high-school teams in Minnesota, the article says, 69% of players who lost consciousness and 81% of those who sustained a concussion returned to play the same day, contrary to sound medical practice. The article recommends increased step-by-step, individualized monitoring of players who sustain blows to the head.

This issue poses some tough tradeoffs for parents. On many teams, off-the-field practices by trainers and coaches have improved in recent years. On the other hand, competition has intensified in all youth sports, and kids still get mixed messages as parents call from the sidelines, “Shake it off!” or “Play through the pain!”

Both my kids got knocked out at least once playing basketball or hockey, yet I rationalized the risks, telling myself you can’t organize your life around avoiding injuries. As long as my kids enjoyed sports, I wanted them to reap the benefits.

Nevertheless, I sometimes doubted that choice on the sidelines, asking myself, “Why are you letting them DO this?” I spent more than a few nights nervously awakening one kid or the other every few hours, to check for signs of brain injury.

Readers, do you worry about concussions when your kids play sports? How do you manage the risks and weigh the tradeoffs?

Associated Press

A man yells after plunging into the frigid waters of English Bay during the annual polar bear swim in Vancouver, B.C., on Thursday January 1, 2009.

Yesterday morning, on New Year’s Day, my husband participated in a “polar bear” swim at a very cold local spring. He’s done this for the past few years—the frigid water and the cool winter air are somehow thrilling to him. He dove right in the water, swam a few strokes and jumped out to the warmth of his towel and robe. He always dreads it before he jumps in–his friend has to goad him into it– but he is psyched up afterwards.

Returning to work after these slow last couple weeks of the year can sometimes seem like that polar bear swim—like freezing water splashed in your face. For some readers, it’s exciting to get back into the hubbub of working life and school after a few weeks when time slows down and routines melt away. For others, it’s stressful and jarring. Some jugglers’ work might gear up slowly, so they have a few days or weeks to ease back into working life. Others, meanwhile, have to accelerate quickly on big projects. And some jugglers are just thankful to have a job at all, with layoffs everywhere.

Sara wrote in May about her difficulties gearing up for the juggle again after a vacation. Readers, do you have any polar-bear-swim strategies for plunging back into work after winter break? Does your work gear up fast or do you have some time to ease back into your routine?

Tonight’s a prime one for adults-only celebrations, as juggling parents scramble to secure babysitters or drop the kids with grandparents to enjoy a New Year’s Eve on the town. But others will forgo the scramble entirely and ring in 2009 with their kids in tow.

On an organized level, there are the First Night celebrations in dozens of communities around the country. The events are arts-oriented, family-friendly and nonalcoholic, providing a fun yet sane alternative to traditional New Year’s Eve debauchery.

Or so I’ve heard. Even though there’s a First Night in our town, we haven’t attended. Instead, tonight we’ll again gather with some other families with young children for a party at one family’s house. We’ll get started early in the evening so the kids can play, then get them into their pajamas and let them wind down with a DVD while the adults revel on. Even if some of the kids do manage to stay up until midnight, they’ll certainly be able to sleep in tomorrow morning, and it’ll be nice having them with us as the New Year arrives.

Readers, will you be partying with your kids tonight or without them—or just enjoying a quiet evening at home?

Regardless of how you bring it in, we at The Juggle wish you and yours the very happiest of New Years, and a rewarding, fulfilling 2009 at home and at work.

Associated Press

As 2008 draws to a close, I’m in resolution-mode, reviewing last year’s goals and making new ones for the year ahead.

I’ve made a lot of major, and positive, changes in my life this past year. I had my first child. I switched jobs and substantially cut down my work hours and work-related stress. (I also substantially reduced my income, alas.)

I’ve learned to let a lot of things go that used to weigh on me. I’m making peace with the fact that my house is a lot messier than it used to be, my desk isn’t as neatly organized, I have a pile of reading that I’ll never get to and I don’t keep up with emails and phone calls as quickly as in the past. I’ve also faced serious health problems which hit me out of the blue this year, teaching me that no matter how well we plan for the future, life can still roll in very unpredictable, and sometimes unpleasant, ways.

There are still plenty of things I’d like to improve for next year. First and foremost: reduce procrastination. I’m working on a long-term book project and I’ve found myself doing about every possible activity but write it. (On the plus side, procrastination does have its benefits: I’ve gotten in good shape and my baby weight finally melted away.) I’d also like to become more decisive, reducing the time and energy I spend agonizing over many decisions.

Last year, Sara Schaefer Munoz posted how she fared with her resolutions, including making more time to exercise and spending more time with friends. Jugglers, what big, or little, changes have you made in your life in 2008? What are you hoping to change in 2009?

Happy New Year! Thank you, readers, for all of your comments and suggestions. The Juggle will be off tomorrow.

Associated Press

Bristol Palin, daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and former Republican vice presidential candidate, and her boyfriend Levi Johnston at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn. People magazine reports that Palin gave birth to her son, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston on Sunday, Dec. 28, 2008. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast, file)

I read about the naming of little Tripp Johnston, grandson of former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, with mixed feelings. Should kids’ names spring from family traditions, or should they be chosen to help the child develop his or her own identity?

Tripp, the son of Bristol Palin and her boyfriend Levi Johnston, is derived from a Palin family pattern of giving sons names that begin with “Tr …” – Trig and Track are Tripp’s uncles. The pattern is catchy and may cement the child’s family bonds – or not.

One thing seems certain: No matter what name parents choose, most kids dislike their names at some stage. We named our two children to honor family ties or values. My son James was named after a dauntless paternal forebear who walked across the continent to the California Gold Rush, and my daughter Cristin’s name bears a Celtic spelling, to reflect her Irish heritage. Although they’re both at peace with their names now, each has told me at various stages that a trendier appellation, such as Jared or Jennifer, would have helped them more in developing their identities on the playground or in social groups.

It’s been a year of odd baby names in general, as more parents bypass old customs in favor of picking names they like. Celebrity baby names such as Bronx Mowgli Wentz (born to Ashlee Simpson and rocker Peter Wentz) and Peanut Rademacher (son of Australian soap star Ingo Rademacher), come to mind. Still others seem too burdensome for any baby to bear: In 2005, Nicholas Cage named his son Kal-El, the birth name of one of Mr. Cage’s comic-book heroes — Superman. Indeed, many parents feel strongly about naming a baby whatever pleases them; Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who named his daughter Apple, recently told a reporter that “a name is just a noise” and if a parent likes the sound of it, that’s all that matters.

We’ve posted in the past about choosing baby names that will serve your child well as a future adult in the workplace. Readers, what do you think is the best basis for a baby’s name? Should it be laden with a family value or historical story or should it be chosen to please parents? How well do you feel you’ve done naming your own kids – and how well do they think you’ve done?